Happy Easter – and don’t eat too many eggs! I’ve already got my first one, but I promise I’m having a VERY active weekend with 4 days of energetic dancing.

The Real Woman’s Way
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for goodness sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

Delia’s Way
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

The Real Woman’s Way
Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year.

Delia’s Way
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won’t be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

The Real Woman’s Way
Tesco’s’ sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.

Delia’s Way
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a potato slice.

The Real Woman’s Way
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that’s tough. Please recite with me the Real Woman’s motto: ‘I made it and you will eat it and I don’t care how bad it tastes.’

Delia’s Way
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks

The Real Woman’s Way
It could keep forever. Who eats it?

Delia’s Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

The Real Woman’s Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of vodka. Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but you won’t care!

Delia’s Way
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

The Real Woman’s Way
Why do I have a man?

Finally the most important tip

Delia’s Way

Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles

The Real Woman’s Way
Left over wine???? Helllloooo!!

Click the text here >> Repaying your sleep debt.

So now, I have a valid reason for my luxury weekend “lay-in”

She came back rather upset. When I asked her what was wrong, she said, “I don’t think I like that produce guy. I went and looked around for your organic vegetables and I couldn’t find any. So I asked him where the organic vegetables were.”

“He didn’t know what I was talking about, so I said, ‘These vegetables are for my husband. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?’”

“And he said, ‘No, ma’am. You’ll have to do that yourself.’”

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife’s insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn’t help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates, and St.. Peter escorted them inside.  He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath.  A maid could be seen hanging their favourite clothes in the closet.

They gasped in astonishment when he said, ‘Welcome to Heaven.  This will be your home now.’

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.  ‘Why, nothing,’ Peter replied, ‘remember, this is your reward in Heaven..’

The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth..

‘What are the greens fees?,’ grumbled the old man.
‘This is heaven,’ St. Peter replied.  ‘You can play for free, every day.’

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.

‘Don’t even ask,’ said St. Peter to the man..  This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.’

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.
‘Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?,’ he asked.

That’s the best part,’ St. Peter replied..  ‘You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get fat or sick.  This is Heaven!’

The old man pushed, ‘No gym to work out at?’
‘Not unless you want to,’ was the answer.
‘No testing my sugar or blood pressure or….’
‘Never again.  All you do here is enjoy yourself.’

The old man glared at his wife and said, ‘You and your flipping bran flakes.  We could have been here ten years ago!’

Thanks to Jackie for sending this one.  Please send me any more jokes you find with a healthy eating theme!